Final Fantasy remade
by AtariBro1127
Summary: A real funny twist to FF8, has lots of video game refrences like Zelda, Saga Frontier, and others. Also has my favorite guy Jack Black as JD in the movie Saving Silverman. Please read and review... CHAPTER 4 NOW UP! PLEASE R&R, OH PLEASE GOD JUST READ IT!
1. Introduction

*Squall is now waking up in the Infirmatory wing*  
  
Squall: Ugghh.. Where the hulk am I?  
  
Doctor: Hey, I couldn't help but over hear, but did you just say hulk?  
  
Squall: Yeah. What's wrong with hulk?  
  
Doctor: Oh nothing, but don't you think its kinda gay? Hulk. Sound just like something a cracker would say.  
  
Squall: Well why don't you.you. JUST SHUT THE HULK UP OK!!!!  
  
Doctor: Fine..*underneath her breath* cracker  
  
*Suddenly Bob Saget pops his head from the door*  
  
Bob Saget: Hey, Have I ever told you the story of the night I lost my virginity?  
  
Doctor: Damnit Bob, this is the last straw. Gettem' Boys. *Signals in 2 big men in white uniforms, and start dragging Bob Saget away*  
  
Bob Saget: *in a fading voice* That's OK, maybe next time!  
  
*Quistis walks in*  
  
Quistis: There's the little bugger, I'll teach that little shit a lesson this time.  
  
*Squall squeals and rolls into the nearest corner*  
  
Quistis: What happened to these?  
  
*Quistis picks up Squalls brand newly torn knickers*  
  
Quistis: You tore you..  
  
Squall: I gotta go  
  
*Squall walks out of the Infirmatory missing the "bottom half" of his shelf if you get my drift*  
  
Quistis: Wait up! *runs after Squall*  
  
Quistis: You should probally put these on. *hands pants to Squall*  
  
Squall: I don't need em'  
  
Quistis: People are staring at you.  
  
Squall: I said I don't need em'!  
  
Quistis: *shrugs her shoulders* Allright  
  
Stranger Girl: Nice ass big boy  
  
Quistis: What was she talking about?  
  
Squall: I think its pretty obvious  
  
Quistis: No really, what WAS she talking about  
  
Squall: Give me those *grabs pants from Quistis*  
  
Quistis: So, are you going to the ball tonight?  
  
Squall: Ball? What ball?  
  
Quistis: You know the big ball for all the new SeeD members, didn't you get your invitation?  
  
Squall: Oh.. I guess, my invitation got lost in the mail  
  
Quistis: You know what, I think it's possible you didn't even get sent an invitation.  
  
Squall: You know what, I think it's NOT possible for you to shut the hulk yp.  
  
Quistis: Hulk?  
  
Squall: Leave me alone!  
  
Quistis: Oh well, I'll see you later, I got to get ready  
  
Squall: So this is it, this is how it's going to end?  
  
Quistis: Yea. Sure.. Why not?  
  
Squall: That's just typical, you know what, I don't think I need these anymore *takes off pants*  
  
Quistis: No, Squall please  
  
Squall: You just go..  
  
*Later that evening before the ball, and Squall still lacking pants* 


	2. Unleash the Matthew

Chapter 2: The Beginning of Matthew

note: You will see the name Matthew, which is just me the author, and the name Johnathan (just picture a skinny white 30 year old that's name is really Jon, but we just nag him calling him Johnathan, that uses simple phrases that just sound hilarious when he says virtually anything)

*Squall is at Starbucks waiting in line for a capachino*

Squall: They think they are so great... Ill show them, I'll take a capachino, lite on the chino though

Johnathan: Ahhm*points to a sighn stating no pants, no service*

Squall: That's just typical Johnathan, allways nay saying

Johnathan: Sorry Pal.

Squall: Fine I'll take my buisness else where *walks next door to a Peabody coffee shop with a sighn only stating no shirt, no shoes, no service*

*Back to the topic... At the dance, where you find Squall waiting outside looking through a window to the great time*

Squall: You know what I need?

Matthew: Some pants.

Squall: No, no, no.... I need a loser, as pathetic as I am, who will join me as we look upon those more fortunate than us in self-pity

Matthew: I'll go get Lute...*starts to walk off*

Squall: I need someone like Zell

Matthew: Wait a fuck! I know him, come on!

*Squall and the author go to the cafeteria to find Zell hassling the lunch lady*

Zell: Your gonna serve me more hotdogs, or I'm gonna serve my foot up your ass!

Lunch Lady: Don't make me get Johnathan *points to a skinny white man reading the monthly Timbermatics*

Zell: *throws himself back in horror* Not Johnathan!

Squall: Hey Zell!

Zell: *looks over his shoulder* Oh, hey Sassy!

Matthew: Sassy?

Squall: Fuck you replacement friend, Hey Zell you wanna go lurk outside the ball in self-pity?

Zell: Ball? What ball?

Squall:...Whatever, come on

Zell: Allright *looks over shoulder back to the lunch lady* I'll be back for your ass later *Lunch Lady gives him the finger*


	3. Not Another Retarded Chapter

Chapter 3: Yet Another Retarded Chapter  
  
*Meanwhile back at the dance*  
  
Squall: Wait do you hear something?  
  
Zell: Yea, they got Snoop Dogg in there, that gangsta is off the hezzy for shezzy.  
  
Squall: Oh fo shizzle my nizzle, hes got biznach out da roof  
  
Zell: Oh ;yea, there is Rinoa dancing with Seifer  
  
Rinoa:*muffled but still heard clearly* I know you aint touchin my manacin!  
  
Squall: Musta remembered his Axe too  
  
Zell: Shit some ones coming! Quick the stone mask!  
  
Matthew: Fuck you faggots *takes the one and only stone mask and disappears from sight*  
  
Squall: Guess we'll have to make do.  
  
*Moments later*  
  
Selphie: Hey fellas, oh yea I have not seen Kafei.  
  
Zell: *Wearing the Kafei mask* Who the fuck is Ka. Oh yea, me too  
  
Squall: *Wearing the Deku mask* Shit, she sees us! *bubble shots Selphie in the nuts?*  
  
*barking gradually getting louder*  
  
Squall: Fuck *Angello comes in and starts to chase Deku Squall around the hall* Do something Zell!!  
  
Zell: Allright. *Puts on giant mask and stomps the shit out of Angello* 


End file.
